


you'll rust and not belong so much

by violentyler



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Existential Crisis, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-15 19:38:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16069910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violentyler/pseuds/violentyler
Summary: all ryan saw was ray, and all he saw was the fate of this cruel world.





	you'll rust and not belong so much

**Author's Note:**

> inspired greatly by hotcha girls by ugly casanova, give it a listen, it's a wonderful song. Y'all better strap in, it's gonna be sad.

Paint the scene.   
  
A skinny kid on the rooftop of some sketchy apartment building in the middle of the night. Stars shining above him, tendrils of smoke curling all around him and icy wind nipping at bare skin. He sat on the edge, a railing circling the edge of the rooftop with his legs hanging down through the gaps and wrapped up in tattered jeans and a sweatshirt he’d had forever. He had scrapes across his palms and a blunt between his lips, glasses folded on the ground to his left.

Ray lost track of how long he’d been out there hours ago.

His gaze shifted from the stars above him, to the cars and busy streets below. He entertained the thought of climbing over the railing, letting gravity take him down to the street from there. Ray shook his head, resting his forehead against the cold, metal railing. What a foolish idea.

He blew out smoke from between his lips as he heard the door somewhere behind him creak. He didn’t need to look back, not when he recognized the familiar gait approach him. It wasn’t an unwanted presence, just unexpected. Ray let out a long sigh when he heard the man settle beside him. Ray turned his head, just his temple against the cold metal now, to look at Ryan. He hadn’t expected anyone else.   
  
There, in the middle of the night, lit up only by city lights and the moon herself, Ryan looked heavenly. He didn’t look at Ray, he stared out at the city before them, legs crossed with one hand curled around part of the rail. Ryan had a thick jacket, Ray was sure it was warmer than his sweatshirt, and a beanie pulled over his hair.

“Been out here a while, kid.”

Ray gave a small shrug, gaze moving back towards his knees. “Lost track of time, I guess.”

Ryan shifted, Ray figured that was it, he was going to leave now, but he just leaned forward to copy Ray, temple resting against the rail. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Ray cracked a ghost of a smile. “Thinkin’ about how my brooding time is being interrupted, thinkin’ about how high I am right now, thinkin’ about how you look right now.”

They sat in silence after that, Ryan not wanting to force a conversation and Ray feeling fine sitting in the quiet. It was just Ray, Ryan and the sky. He wasn’t sure when, but he eventually felt Ryan’s warm hand rest over his. Ray had no idea how long they sat there in the cold.

“What would you do if you were going to die today?” Ray whispered.

Without missing a beat, Ryan smiled. “Spend it with you.”  
  
Ray shifted to look at him, brow furrowing into a weak glare. “Seriously.”  
  
“I’m being serious.”  
  
Ray gave a small, mirthless laugh. “Ryan Haywood, you’re a goddamn idiot.”

He felt the hand over his own tighten a little. “What would you do, Ray?”   
  
“Don’t know. Maybe call up my mom, get high.”

“What’re you doing out here, kid?”  
  
Ray gave a shrug, tangling his finger between Ryan’s. “Our lives don’t mean anything.”

“That’s a little extreme.”

“We..when I die, people won’t remember me. They won’t care that Ray Narvaez is dead and I’ll be forgotten and..it could happen tomorrow. I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. We don’t mean anything, not really. No one will care or remember and I can’t do  _anything about it_.” Ray’s grip on the railing tightened until his knuckles were white. He took a breath to calm himself. “What if I jumped over this railing?”

“I would be grateful to have spent these moments with you. I would be sad, and unable to truly understand why you would do it, but I wouldn’t forget you.”

Ray shook his head. “Not right away, anyway.”

“Ray, look at me.” With no response he felt the hand leave his and move to his opposite cheek, gently pulling his gaze to Ryan. “Maybe it’s not about if the world remembers you, or all that you did. It’s not about the entire world mourning you or telling stories about the Great Ray Narvaez or any of that shit.”

Ray hummed as if considering what Ryan was saying.

“Your world will remember you. I would remember you, your mother would, everyone who cares about you would.”

They fell silent again.

When the sun finally began to peek over the horizon, Ryan got to his feet, bringing Ray up with him, leading the younger man towards the door. Ray stopped him, grasping Ryan’s hand. If he thought Ryan looked like heaven before, now with the early morning sun shining on his face, bringing out the blue of his eyes, Ray swore he looked like God himself.

“How’d you know I was up here, anyway?”

Ryan grinned, tugging on Ray’s arm. “Had a feeling you might need someone.”

Ryan led him back to his apartment, where the shut all the curtains and lay together until Ray finally felt he could sleep. When Ryan woke, Ray was gone and something in his heart told him, he wouldn’t see him again.

But he wouldn't forget. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading, i adore and appreciate every read i get. i greatly encourage comments, let me know what you liked, what you hated, whatever.
> 
> update as of 02/18/19: I'm now taking requests! I don't have a Tumblr or anything...but feel free to send me requests via my discord ( @violentyler#0969 ) or just to chat with me. it's been tough getting more inspo to write so requests/prompts are greatly appreciated.


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